A Glossary of Your PC's Messages

It says: "Press Any Key"
It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving."

It says: "Press A Key"
(This one's a programmers joke. Nothing happens unless you press the "A" key.)

It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no. 1A4-2546512430E"
It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem."

It says: "Installing program to C:...."
It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:windows and c:windowssystem where you'll NEVER find them."

It says: "Please insert disk 11"
It means: "Because I know darn well there are only 10 disks."

It says: "Not enough memory"
It means: "I don't CARE if you've got 64MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K."

It says: "Cannot read from drive D:..."
It means: "... However, if you put the CD in right side up..."

It says: "Please Wait..."
It means: "... Indefinitely."

It says: "Directory does not exist..."
It means: "... any more. Whoops."

It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close."
It means: "...Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your work back."