Hollywood operating system
- Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.
- Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.
- When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
- If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file -- and there are no undelete utilities.
Corollary: Deleting a file instantly removes all copies of said file from disks, memory, frame buffers and caches across all computers in the universe. - If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you insert it.
- No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.
- The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labeled.
- Most computers, no matter how small or old, have reality-defying three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.
- Laptops from 1992 always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY.
- Whenever a character looks at a terminal, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face.
- Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans operating computers never make mistakes under stress.
- (From Independence Day) No matter what kind of virus it is, any computer can be infected with it -- even an alien spaceship's computer -- simply by running a virus upload program on a laptop.
- (From Jurassic Park) A custom system with millions of lines of code controlling a multimillion dollar theme park can be operated by a 13 year old who has seen a Unix system before. Seeing an operating system means you know how to run any application on that system, even custom apps.
Note: What OS was it really running?- "These are super computers". A CrayOS?
- "Quicktime movie, Apple logo, trash can." MacOS?
- "Reboot. System ready. C:\" DOS?
- "Hey, this is Unix. I know this" Unix?
- You cannot stop a destructive program or virus by unplugging the computer. Presumably the virus has its own built-in power supply.
- You cannot stop a destructive program downloading onto your system by unplugging the phone line. You must figure out the mandatory "back door" all evil virus programmers put in.
- Computers only crash if a virus or a hacker is involved.
- All text must be at least 72 point.
- Word processors do not have an insert point.
- The only way to reboot is to shut off the main power to the building.
- Passwords can be guessed in three and exactly three tries. If you cannot guess the password in three tries, you must give up immediately.
- Any task or program can be executed by simply pressing Enter, no matter which program or window is in the foreground.
- All scanners, video cameras and digital cameras have a resolution of approximately 500 megapixels. Any image can be infinitely magnified with no pixelization.
- Security will not improve over time. Nonaffialiated personnel can take over a space ship without needing an account or access control.
Corollary: Anyone can override access control lists in the future. - All hackers wear black T-shirts or Hawaiian shirts.
- Incoming messages are displayed letter by letter. Email over the Internet works like telegraphs.
- Microsoft Windows doesn't exist. Macintosh has a 75% market share.
- GUI operations, such as image selection and manipulation, can be handled easily and quickly via the keyboard.
- If a robot's eyes turn red, it becomes evil.
- Cell phones and laptops have infinite battery life, until you need to call for help.
- Latency does not exist. Voice and data can be sent to Mars in real time.
- If all else fails, hit it. That fixes everything.
- If you don't have the combination to an electronic door lock, shoot it. Destruction of the lock electronics will always unlock the door.
- Computers with touch screen interfaces are noisy.
- When entering a password, it will be displayed as clear text, in a 96 point font and on a 50 inch wall mounted screen. However, everyone is really courteous, as password snooping doesn't happen.