About Finland...

  • +15°C / 59°F
    This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan.

  • +10°C / 50°F
    The French are trying in vain to start their central heating. The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.

  • +5°C / 41°F
    Italian cars won't start, The Finns are cruising in cabriolets.

  • 0°C / 32°F
    Distilled water freezes. The water in Vantaa river (in Finland) gets a little thicker.

  • -5°C / 23°F
    People in California almost freeze to death. The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.

  • -10°C / 14°F
    The Brits start the heat in their houses. The Finns start using long sleeves.

  • -20°C / -4°F
    The Aussies flee from Mallorca. The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here.

  • -30°C / -22°F
    People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth. The Finns start drying their laundry indoors.

  • -40°C / -40°F
    Paris start cracking in the cold. The Finns stand in line at the hotdog stands.

  • -50°C / -58°F
    Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole. The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.

  • -60°C / -76°F
    Korvatunturi (the home for Santa Claus) freezes. The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors.

  • -70°C / -94°F
    The false Santa moves south. The Finns get frustrated since they can't store their Kossu (Koskenkorva vodka) outdoors. The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training.

  • -183°C / -297.4°F
    Microbes in food don't survive. The Finnish cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold.

  • -273°C / -459.4°F
    ALL atom-based movent halts. The Finns start saying "Perkele, it's cold outside today."