About Finland...
- +15°C / 59°F
This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan. - +10°C / 50°F
The French are trying in vain to start their central heating. The Finns plant flowers in their gardens. - +5°C / 41°F
Italian cars won't start, The Finns are cruising in cabriolets. - 0°C / 32°F
Distilled water freezes. The water in Vantaa river (in Finland) gets a little thicker. - -5°C / 23°F
People in California almost freeze to death. The Finns have their final barbecue before winter. - -10°C / 14°F
The Brits start the heat in their houses. The Finns start using long sleeves. - -20°C / -4°F
The Aussies flee from Mallorca. The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here. - -30°C / -22°F
People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth. The Finns start drying their laundry indoors. - -40°C / -40°F
Paris start cracking in the cold. The Finns stand in line at the hotdog stands. - -50°C / -58°F
Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole. The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather. - -60°C / -76°F
Korvatunturi (the home for Santa Claus) freezes. The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors. - -70°C / -94°F
The false Santa moves south. The Finns get frustrated since they can't store their Kossu (Koskenkorva vodka) outdoors. The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training. - -183°C / -297.4°F
Microbes in food don't survive. The Finnish cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold. - -273°C / -459.4°F
ALL atom-based movent halts. The Finns start saying "Perkele, it's cold outside today."