How to talk and be PC
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
- She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED CITIZEN OF THE UK.
- She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
- She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
- She has not BEEN AROUND - She is A PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
- She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
- She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
- She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
- She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
- She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
- She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
- She does not have PREMIER LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
- She is not a TWO-BIT SLAPPER - She is a LOW COST SERVICE PROVIDER.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
- He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
- He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
- He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
- He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
- He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
- He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
- He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
- He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
- He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.