"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships"(Sharon Stone)
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she's reading"(Steve Jobs)
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps"(Tiger Woods)
"Things you'll never hear a woman say: "My, what an attractive scrotum!""(Patricia Arquette)
"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master"(Rev. Jesse Jackson)
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch"(Jack Nicholson)
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is"(Barbara Bush)
"Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet"(Robin Williams)
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time"(Robin Williams)
"Women complain about pre-menstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself"(Roseanne)
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place"(Billy Crystal)
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, whereas, of course, men are just grateful"(Robert De Niro)
"In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts?"(Hugh Grant)
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"(Dustin Hoffman)
"When the sun comes up, I have morals again"(Elizabeth Taylor)
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house"(Rod Stewart)