Things Not to Say to Your New Girlfriend's Parents

• My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me.
• Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday?
• Which one of you taught Sara to give such great head?
• Can you believe it! Those idiots at the corner market won't cash my welfare check!
• We're going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times.
• Those home pregnancy kits aren't very reliable in my opinion.
• Sara is so pretty I've decided to give up being bisexual just for her.
• Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I bet a nice home like this came with a safe already built in, didn't it?
• There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara's will be okay too.
• Can I pull my car in your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost.