You know you're an ENGINEER when...

  • The only jokes you receive are through e-mail
  • At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
  • Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma
  • Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room
  • In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure
  • The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
  • You are always late to meetings
  • You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling
  • You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday
  • You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
  • You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
  • You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.
  • You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
  • You forgot to get a haircut ... for 6 months
  • You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects
  • You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area
  • You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
  • You have more friends on the Internet than in real life
  • You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married
  • You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
  • You know what http:// actually stands for
  • You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
  • You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
  • You see a good design and still have to change it
  • You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring
  • You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
  • You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep
  • You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa)
  • You window shop at Radio Shack
  • You're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite
  • You know what the geosynchronous satellite function is
  • Your checkbook always balances
  • Your laptop computer costs more than your car
  • Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work
  • Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300Mhz Pentium
  • You've already calculated how much you make per second
  • You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio