Differences between men's and women's English

Women's English

• Yes = No
• No = Yes
• Maybe = No
• I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
• We need = want
• It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
• Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
• We need to talk = I need to complain.
• Sure ... go ahead = I don't want you to.
• I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
• You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
• You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Men's English

• I'm hungry. = I'm hungry.
• I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.
• I'm tired. = I'm tired.
• Do you want to go to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
• Can I take you out to dinner = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
• Can I call you sometime = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
• May I have this dance = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
• What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
• I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?
• I love you. = Let's have sex now.
• I love you, too. = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!