Differences between men's and women's English

Women's English

  • Yes = No
  • No = Yes
  • Maybe = No
  • I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
  • We need = want
  • It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
  • Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
  • We need to talk = I need to complain.
  • Sure ... go ahead = I don't want you to.
  • I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
  • You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
  • You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Men's English

  • I'm hungry. = I'm hungry.
  • I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.
  • I'm tired. = I'm tired.
  • Do you want to go to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
  • Can I take you out to dinner = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
  • Can I call you sometime = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
  • May I have this dance = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
  • What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
  • I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?
  • I love you. = Let's have sex now.
  • I love you, too. = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!