For the Guys

Every "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

DANGEROUS: Why are you so worked up?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty quid.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that dressing gown.