The Differences Between Women and Men

It can be difficult to believe that women and men could be so different, not just on the physical level. I have never professed to being a master of understanding the female mind, at least when I'm sober anyway, but along the way you pick up a few thoughts and realise a few things about them that makes them tick differently to men. So benefit from my knowledge, and maybe even use it to your advantage as I expose the non-obvious differences between women and men.

• Women - toilet seat down, Men - toilet seat up.
• Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
• Women have a ready-made excuse to be cranky once a month.
• Men supposedly have an unlimited supply of money.
• Men have roaming eyes, women get a chance to react if their hands match.
• Women and men can both get sex when they please, but men usually end up paying for it.
• Women find it hard to get excited over sports and cars, men it's more like romance movies and anything involving Bryan Adams.
• God created woman after man, and women have been after men ever since.
• Women fall in love, men just lust.
• Men have one romantic bone in their body, contrary to opinion suggesting otherwise, it can be found just below the waist.
• For men foreplay comes before fiveplay.
• Both women and men think with their head, the man's though is below his shoulders.
• Women want equality, men want to know what the hell's going on!!
• How many females open the doors for guys? Or buy guys drinks?
• Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
• Good guys go home alone, bad guys go to gaol.
• A good woman is hard to find, and even harder to train.
• Men don't get headaches.
• Women control the bedroom, ask any guy.
• Women seem to think there's a knight in shining armour to sweep them off their feet, men just hope someone acknowledges their existence.
• Women's bank balances are never over-drawn, rather under-deposited.
• Men wish women were more like beer. Women wish men were as loyal as dogs!!
• A woman with credit card charges like bull!!
• Women drive like they're in a funeral procession, men like they want to be in the coffin.
• When a woman learns to understand a man she usually stops listening.
• Marriage - a man loses his bachelor's degree and a woman gains her master's degree!
• A woman never forgets the men she could have had, a man the women he couldn't.
• WIFE - Washing, Ironing, Food, Entertainment.