Things Men & Women need to know about style
At least one of these will apply to someone you know...
Things Men need To Know About Style:
- Yes, Homer Simpson is funny - but not on your tie.
- Only consider tucking your jumper into your jeans if you're a vicar.
- Getting your girlfriend to iron your jeans is unacceptable. Ironing them yourself is evidence of an unsound mind.
- Cowboy boots - NO!!!
- Pointy lace-up shoes make women retch.
- Going bald? - shave it off for God's sake.
- Never take your top off in public, unless you've just won Wimbledon.
- Donald Duck socks do not reflect your individuality nor the wild side of your corporate facade. They do, however, mean your mother still dresses you or you wish she did.
- Socks and sandals - lovely on Germans.
- A jester hat does not a wacky man make. Even Noddy Holder regrets the 70s.
- Speedos are only acceptable on Olympic swimmers...
- as are medallions...
- ...and tracksuit tops and bottoms.
- Do you have a grey, red and black asymmetrical duvet?? Habitat helpline 0845 601 0740
- Open shirts: one button open = professional; two buttons = casual; three = oversharing.
- Tight sleeveless muscle t-shirts are only ok if you're 17, can do the running-on-the-spot dance at the drop of a hat, and are a member of N'Sync. OK!
- Those fold-up scooters + middle thirties exec = tosser.
- Here's a startling fact guys: Lara Croft isn't real. And Angelina is:
- an actress and
- Is your definition of "new season shopping" buying the Man Utd kit? Please seek professional help.
- Unless you own a rap empire, leave the chunky gold bracelet and "ice" ring in the window of H. Samuel where it can live a long and happy life doing no-one any harm...
- You'll NEVER pull if you put your mobile in the mobile phone pocket of your combats.
- Bleached blonde hair. If it doesn't work for Eddie Irvine, it's not going to do it for you.
- Chinos - fashionable for 6 months in 1989 and that was it.
Things Women need To Know About Style:
- Show more cleavage.
- Wear shorter skirts.