Dumb Men Jokes

Q: Why are all blond jokes one-liners?
A: So men can understand them.

Q: What is the difference between government bonds and men?
A: Government bonds mature.

Q: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
A: Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

Q: What is the difference between ET and a man?
A: ET phoned home.

Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than women?
A: When it's time to go back to his childhood he is already there.

Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: 'I can do better than this!'

Q: How do women define a 50/50 relationship?
A: We cook/ they eat; we clean/ they dirty; we iron/they wrinkle.

Q: What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes.

Q: How do men exercise at the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

Q: What does a man consider to be a 7 course meal?
A: A hot dog and a six-pack.

Q: How are men like noodles?
A: They are always in hot water, they lack taste and they need dough.

Q: Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
A: When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions.

Q: What's the difference between Big Foot and a mature man?
A: Big Foot's been sighted.