Q: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A: Juan on Juan.

Q: What is a Yankee?
A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q: Why does a man have a hole in his penis?
A: To get some air to his brain.

Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A: The position of the dirt bag.

Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it's worth it.

Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
A: One US leader.

Q: How can you tell when a man's had an orgasm?
A: From the snoring.

Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
A: Doughnuts.

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
A: Because Janet Reno is her real father.

Q: What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
A: 100 people who don't do dick.

Q: What does parsley and pubic hair have in common?
A: You push it aside and keep on eating!

Q: How did the tugboat get AIDS?
A: It was rear-ended by a ferry.

Q: What does a 72-year-old snatch taste like?
A: Depends...

Q: What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
A: Popeye almost killed him!

Q: What's the definition of a teenager?
A: God's punishment for enjoying sex.

Q: What two words will clear out a men's restroom?
A: "Nice Dick!"

Q: What's the definition of eternity?
A: 4 blondes at a 4-way stop intersection.

Q: How do you know if a guy has a high sperm count?
A: His girlfriend has to chew before swallowing!

Q: What's the definition of indefinitely?
A: When your balls are slapping up against her ass, you're in...definitely!

Q: Mom's have Mother's Day, father's have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday.

Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
A: They are both used as substitute meat.

Q: Why is sex like a game of bridge?
A: If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.

Q: What do a coffin and a condom have in common?
A: They're both filled with stiffs, only one's coming and one's going!

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob!

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker.

Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard.