Some questions and answers

Q: What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
A: His ass.

Q: Why are Star Trek and toilet paper the same?
A: They both fight cling-ons and circle Uranus.

Q: What meat do priests eat?
A: Nun.

Q: What is green and smells like pork?
A: Kermit's finger.

Q: How do you get a polish woman pregnant?
A: Cumm on her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

Q: Why can't the polish women use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.

Q: What is the difference between a wife and a job?
A: After 15 years your job still sucks.

Q: Why was Frosty the snowman happy?
A: He heard the snow-blower was coming.

Q: Why does a gog lick his balls?
A: Because he can.

Q: Why did the Greek boy leave home?
A: He didn't like how his father was rearing him.

Q: Why did the Greek boy return?
A: He couldn't stand to leave his brother's behind.

Q: How did Helen Keller burn her ear?
A: She answered the iron.

Q: How did she burn the other?
A: They called back.

Q: Why did God give women legs?
A: So they wouldn't leave snail trails.

Q: What is a vampire's tea-bag?
A: A tampon.

Q: What did one rubber say to the other as they passed a gay bar?
A: Want to go in and get shit-faced?

Q: What did one gay guy say to another as they passed a morgue?
A: Want to go suck down a cold one?

Q: What do you get when you cross a 10 foot pole with a rooster?
A: A ten foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone.

Q: Why did God make women the way they are?
A: So you can carry them like a six-pack when tey get drunk.

Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.

Q: What are the three biggest lies men tell women?
A: I love you, the check is in the mail, and I won't cumm in your mouth.

Q: Do you know what "taint" is?
A: It's the space between a woman's pussy and asshole. Taint quite pussy and taint quite asshole.

Q: What did the three-legged say when he walked in the bar?
A: I'm looking for the man who shot my pa (paw).

Q: What's the difference between a hockey player and a polish woman?
A: The hockey player changes his pad every 3 periodes.

Q: How can you tell if your boyfriend is a bisexual?
A: His dick tastes like shit.

Q: What is a gay guy's favorite pick up line?
A: Mind if I push your stool in?

Q: What's five bad things about being a penis?

  1. You hang around with two nuts.
  2. Your next door neighbor is an asshole.
  3. You have permanent ring-around-the collar.
  4. Your best friend is a pussy.
  5. Every time you get excited you throw up.

Q: What's three bad things about being an egg?
  1. It takes 3 hours to get hard.
  2. You only get laid once.
  3. The only one that sits on your face is your mother.