Jokes » Countries

EEC announcement

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru!

And zen ve vil tak over ze world!

Japanese Joke

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.

She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?"
One of the Japanese men says, "We are all berry hungly."
The waitress says, "So how is wanking off in this restaurant going to help that situation?"
One of the other businessmen replies, "Because menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"

German Lesson #7

Dog
Barkenpantensniffer
Dog Catcher
Barkenpantensniffensnatcher
Dog Catcher's truck
Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagen
Garage for Truck
Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagenhaus
Truck Repairman
Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagenmechanikerwerker
Mechanic's Union
Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagenmechanikerwerkerfeatherbeddengefixengruppe
Doctor
Chestergethumpenpulsentooker
Nurse
Chestergethumpenpulsentookerhelper
Hypodermic Needle
Chestergethumpenpulsentookerhelperhurtensticker
Backside
Chestergethumpenpulsentookerhelperhurtenstickerstabbenplatz
Piano
Plinkenplankenplunkenbox
Pianist
Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounder
Piano Stool
Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounderspinnenseat
Piano Recital
Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounderoffengeshowenspelle
Fathers at the Recital
Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounderoffengeshowenspellensnoozengruppe
Mothers at the Recital
Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounderoffengeshowenspellensnoozengruppenuppenwakers
Automobile
Honkenbrakenscreecher
Gasoline
Honkenbrakenscreecherzoomerjuicen
Driver
Honkenbrakenscreecherguidenschtunker
Auto Mechanic
Honkenbrakenscreecherknockengepingersputtergefixer
Repair Bill
Bankenrollergebustenuptottenliste

Chinese Proverbs

<< Previous 1 2 Next >>