Because we are MEN

• If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you are a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG.
• If you stay at home and do the housework you are a PANSIE.
• If you work too hard there is NEVER ANY TIME FOR HER AND THE KIDS.
• If you don't work hard enough, you are a GOOD FOR NOTHING LAYABOUT.
• If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay that is EXPLOITATION.
• If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND FIND SOMETHING BETTER.
• If a man gets a promotion ahead of a woman, that is FAVOURITISM.
• If a woman gets a promotion ahead of a man, that is EQUAL OPPORTUNITY.
• If we mention how nice she looks, that is SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
• If we keep quiet, that is TYPICAL MALE INDIFFERANCE.
• If we cry, we're SHEILIAS.
• If we don't, we're INSENSITIVE BASTARDS.
• If a man thumps a women, that is WIFE BASHING.
• If they thump us, that is SELF DEFENCE.
• If we make a decision without her, we're a CHAUVINIST.
• If she makes a decision without us, she is a LIBERATED WOMAN.
• If we ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that is DOMINATION.
• If she asks us, its a FAVOUR.
• If we appreciate the female in frilly underwear, we're SEXUAL PERVERTS.
• If we don't notice, we're POOFTERS.
• If we like a woman to keep in shape, we're SEXISTS.
• If we don't care, then we're UNROMANTIC.
• If we try to keep ourselves in shape, that is VANITY.
• If we don't, we're SLOBS.
• If we buy her flowers, we are AFTER SOMETHING.
• If we don't, we're FORGETFUL.
• If we are proud of our achievments, we're UP OURSELVES.
• If we aren't, we're NOT AMBITIOUS.
• If we ask for a cuddle, we NEVER THINK OF ANYTHING BUT SEX.
• If we're totally wrecked after a bad day at work, we NEVER GIVE A STUFF ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES NEEDS.
• If she has a headache, it means SHE IS TIRED.
• If we have a headache, it means WE DON'T LOVE HER ANYMORE.
• If we want it too often, we're OVER SEXED.
• If we don't, THERE MUST BE SOMEONE ELSE.